Why I Started Reading Fiction

I used to be hardcore against reading fiction. I never saw the point. Why read about the imaginary when I could be reading about how to improve reality? Why learn about a girl who flies, when I could read about how to fly?

Last year, I deviated from my normal reading list and took a chance on An American Marriage. It blew me away. As I followed these characters through a magnificent story of love, loss, and renewal, I lost myself in the beautiful moments between these characters. The intimate moments Celestial and Roy shared before their lives changed forever, the way they remembered them afterwards, the raw truths they confided in one another. I was amazed by the overwhelming weight of these small moments, and how they added up to the major inflection points that shaped these characters' journeys. These "small" moments really weren't small, at all.

As I meditated on this, I was overwhelmed by the gravity of all the "little" things that I had worked to hard to avoid focusing on. For the first time, I began to appreciate how the things we do with and for the ones we love make our lives full - the game nights with friends, the fights - and the happy moments - we share with a partner, the tears, the joy, the bearing with. These are the things that make love so precious, and they are the same things that make it sting when it's taken away from us. It is these things that make life sweet, terrifying, and - for the same reasons - so very precious.

These are the things that good fiction helps us appreciate - the moments that make life so very precious. And while there is certainly value in the cold pragmatism of business books, fiction stands alone as a source of naked truth for the emotion and intangible elements of the human experience.

As my appreciation for the experiences of these characters grew, so did my appreciation for my own experience. It's hard to explain exactly how, but I think it helped me appreciate that life is so much more than the big accomplishments like promotions, physical feats, and the like. What makes life meaningful are the "small" moments - the way it feels to rub my dogs belly at the end of a long day, or hold my partner's hand as we fall asleep. These are the moments we contemplate at the end of a love, or at the end of a life. These are the moments of greatest consequence.

My former reading habits were targeted almost exclusively at productivity and effectiveness - how to be a better leader/teammate/project manager, how to be mindful (so I could stay sane enough not to get off track), how to cook better for running, etc. I read to improve myself - or, so I thought.

The thing is, I can't really be a better leader, teammate, friend, partner, or person, until I learn how to appreciate my own story. I must learn to love, root for, care for, and forgive myself and those around me the way I do the characters in novels.

My hyper-focus on productivity did not lead me to appreciate my story. I was not learning how to appreciate the joy of cooking just for pleasure. I wasn't teaching myself to enjoy the way it feels to have a long, slow run along lake Michigan without trying to PR. I didn't appreciate the way it feels to focus solely on one, amazing person for an evening and get lost in a meandering conversation about absolutely nothing of consequence - and how, sometimes, this can be the most meaningful thing I can do with my time.

Once I started reading fiction, I found myself myself focusing less on outcomes, and more on my own process and experience. In the same way I enjoyed the stories I was reading, found myself enjoying my own story more, too.

All this to say, I am going to incorporate more fiction into my reading list. And I make no apologies for it, or for the opportunity cost of reading fewer business books :) That is all.